i asked them what they want to be when they grow up. one girl said she wants to be a judge, not a lawyer. she wants to be the one they call "your honor." her friend said well, if you'll need to go through 7 years of college to be lawyer..it's gonna be hard, but "i think i want to be a doctor, which will take 11 years of college." and then they kept on talking: it takes 4 years of school to be a teacher; ____ years to be a nurse; only 2 years to be a policeman; 4 years min to be an accountant, but their mothers told them they'd need an MBA (from Columbia business school or Harvard) to find a good job, so that'd take two more years. i think someone also mentioned that it'd take 12 years for a teacher to become a principal or something. anyways their first career choice would be doctor, lawyer second, or maybe a journalist or a writer, and if all things fail, they'd be a teacher, or maybe they can be a teacher and a freelance writer at the same time (if all other options fail, that is). they are 11.

when i was their age, i wanted to work in a chocolate factory. when i was 15, i wanted to be Mariah Carey. for a while i dreamed about to be a journalist with a bulky camera hung around my neck interviewing some unknown endagered animals in a jungle far far away. and then i decided to be a business woman in a sexy business suit watching sunrise from my own office in a high rise building. it wasn't until i was close to my mid-20's when i finally had a legit career choice. and now, at age 27, all i want is a long summer vacation. hearing my students, who are not even teens yet, talking about Stuyvesant and SAT and college and how long they'd have to spend in college to get to where they want to be makes me sad. for reasons i don't even know. 

really. i'm really very sad. so sad my head hurts. so sad i don't feel like seeing anyone today. not only sad i'm feeling a bit mad. why? i don't know don't know don't know. sigh. what am i doing with my life? and really, who cares anyway? argh! i need some OnSen. i need some mountains. 

man i want to move to Alaska or something.