| | just heard a great message on transforming a generation into Nazarites, and how we should strive to be and to raise Elijahs, not Samsons.
First we reviewed the Nazarite vow, which basically says 1) don't drink wine, 2) don't cut your hair, and 3) don't come near any dead body. Of course, that's the literal wording of the vow. the spiritual meaning of the vow goes way deeper, but can be summarized into three H's: "Humility" (surrender pleasure/wine to God); "Hunger" for God (not cutting hair shows you're too busy praying/studying to get a trim), and striving for personal "Holiness" (don't let the corpse contaminate you).
After that, we looked closely at how Elijah upheld the vow and was able to revive and reform an entire generation while Samson failed: Both these men made the vow and received a special, national calling (one a judge, the other one a prophet); both received very special, powerful anointing; both had weakness toward women (Delilah and Jezebel). However, Samson lost his vision, his "big picture" along the way while Elijah held on to it; Samson lost his intimacy with God while Elijah looked and hungered for it; Samson died without transferring his anointing to the next generation while Elijah passed the baton to Elisha.
During prayer time, we were asked to pray for the younger generation. most of the attendees prayed for their children; i prayed for my students, asking the Lord to raise great Nazarites like Elijah. Then we were asked to recommit ourselves to the Lord, and reflect on whether or not we have upheld the vow, for a Nazarite can only be raised or called by another Nazarite. We can't expect the kids to be great Elijahs while we live like short-sighted Samsons.
Last night i had a very comfortable prayer time, thinking about what a "dream" job i have. During prayer time tonight, however, i became rather restless. I felt unsettled thinking whether I've become too settled where i am. I have no vision, no "big picture" to commit myself to. What exactly is my calling? Where exactly should i be a few years from now, after i've paid off my debt? Is NYC my final destination? Is this my harvesting field?
I realized that i've never really thought much about that. i never really had to worry too much about what's to come. yes i do worry, and i make you read all about my petty worries here, but things, or answers often come along before i could make a big deal out of my uncertainty. i don't really have a long term goal to strive toward. i can't say i've lost sight of my vision, because in all honesty, i don't think i have one. I've gotten away with just playing by ear, walking on that long (red? haha) carpet as it is unfolding right before my eyes.
when ppl ask me what i want to be when i uh, grow up, my typical answer would be "well i plan to stay and teach in new york until i pay off my debt (which will probly take another 3 years or so), and hopefully catch a husband along the way, and we can all wait and see what happens from there. if the hub wanted to take root in the big apple, i'd just have to follow like a good, faithful helper, but i'm really hoping to find someone who'd rather not do that, but it's all in God's hands.." and there you have it. my very blurry, very short-sighted vision, which in reality, is not a vision at all.
the truth is, i don't pray enough. i get comfortable too easily. and in the past two days, God's been showing me that if i don't start praying for a clearer vision with urgency and seeking His kingdom with hunger and intensity, i will miss out on the most exciting work of God the world's ever witnessed. He's asking me to give up my short-sightedness, my terminal blessing for a bigger purpose, like how He asked Abraham to give up Issac, his only son, to become "the father of many nations."
so what now? i don't want to worry about the future (especially when i'm enjoying my dream job and don't plan to quit any time soon), but it's clear to me that i need to ask the Lord for a vision with more urgency, more hunger, and more fire. i've become too complacent and He's not happy. God wants me to align my life and my dreams with His calling, and He wants me to be ready to commit. i want to say i'm not sure what He wants me to commit to, but that Nazarite vow seems quite um, bold and shiny...
sigh..gotta admit though..it's more fun to see a great Elijah coming than to be one yourself. God have mercy.
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| | Posted 5/24/2009 11:47 PM - 1 View - 0 eProps - 0 comments
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